This is going to be a post that is rather disorganised, thus if you don't wish to read it, it's okay.. This is a rather unfair world. Today is a day that I felt that I really let my seniors down, especially Sarah and Si Hua, of course, those who taught me chords in sec 2.. I seriously let them down! I feel so useless now, as a sectional leader, I didn't lead the section well, which results in pulling the whole ensemble down. Uncle Lim had high hopes in us and believed that we can lead the whole ensemble into the right timing, but I failed to do so. Besides letting the seniors down, I also feel that I, or rather we, let Uncle Lim, Mdm Fadillah and also Mrs Neo down. What's wrong with me?? I had always tried to prove myself useful and that I can achieve that success, but what happened in the end? I always fail to do so.. I just can't prove myself to be useful and successful! I don't like to be looked down by others, but I'm always, whether be it my families or whatsoever.. It really feels hurt sometimes, you know? I wanted to excel in my studies, do well in my cca, but it looks like I did badly for both. And the cruel fact is that people don't get the concept and how you feel. That's the worse part. For example, you failed your maths and you told your mother about it, do you think your mother will really listen to your explanation? No, she won't! She'll just say, " Don't find excuses" and starts to look down on you. Everyone is like that, the world is like that! Only those who went through it will really understand! BUT, what's the point? They're only the minority! Others will just add salt to your wounds, no matter how sad you are. Some may even go into extreme and say, "Why you feel so sad? What's there to be sad about? I don't see you crying when you get poor grades!" But they really don't understand the stress and pressure that we're facing, the fact that we had met thousands of obstacles, and also the things that we need but couldn't afford it. The world is just unfair, things don't go your way. So, just like what I always say, be the strong one, don't ever be the weak one, you'll suffer. Some may be wallowing now, some may be rejoicing now, i shan't point out who though, just know it by your heart. Hmm, guess I already lose hope in everything and I shan't go on proving anything anymore, it's useless. We put in all our effort and we don't deserve this!
Anyway, I just want to wish Qishan Happy Birthday! =)
俗语说：期望越高，失望越大。 我想哭，但是我的心却不允许。 我想大声地喊，但却没地方。 Only the guitar mates know how it really feels like now. -depressed-
It's over, really over! Today just passed like that! Super Duper fast! All my years in Guitar Ensemble=finished. But don't know why, my hopes are kind of dashed! Screwed up the 2nd song, oh-no! Anyway, shall wait for the results tomorrow.. Hope that tomorrow will be a better day and that lady luck will be on my side! Shall post more tomorrow when I receive the pictures, so be patience! By the way, I wanna say Happy Birthday to Kan Shu Ting, ah-mah!!! Sorry for not being able to celebrate with you this year, but I was glad that you spent it happily!! Still, the old sentence goes: To be able to be part of the Guitar Ensemble family 是一件最幸福的事! Shi Ying, I promise I'll miss you! Jeanette, cheer up girl, I prefer to see the crazy side of you!! Beatrice, thanks for everything that you had done, and listening to me rant on the bus just now!
Today was the last guitar practice in all my 3 years in DMN Guitar Ensemble! Can't believe that time past so quickly! It was just like yesterday when Sarah and Si Hua they all left! Oh my!! I had actually spent 3 years in this CCA! Although there were times when many unhappy things happened, but I managed to pull through them, all the credits go to these wonderful people*!! They really make my time in guitar wonderful and I'm never tired hanging out with them!! With them around, there will always bound to be laughter! We laughed at every single little thing and can go real high and crazy! Thanks people!! Though we're stepping down officially on monday, but, I'll definitely remembered you all in my heart! Always! We must still meet up to play guitar or whatever, okay? And also, meet up before night study? It's fun having to sit together with you all, though I'm the only one from 4E in the whole ensemble, but I never feel left out cause of your presence!! Last but not least, I really want to thank each and every one of you, Jeanette, Beatrice, Qishan, Shiying, Aqilah, Jonathan, Wei Jin and Changshi(not in any order).. Of course, they include the juniors as well, but those are the ones that are closer to me! Lurve ya people! Muackz!! Okay, I shall let the pictures do the talking!!
25th April: Crazy Guitarists! 25th April: We didn't have enough fun. 25th April: We went crazy again. Uncle Lim acting cute! 25th April: We went crazy. 25th April: The Sec 4s last practice together. 25th April: The Sec 4s last practice together 25th April: 2009 SYF Participants25th April: 2009 SYF Participants 24th April: Jon's idea
24th April: Group photo
24th April: SCREAM!!!!
24th April: Crazy picture
24th April: Emo picture
17th April: Our Last Night Study together after Guitar Practice!
Siao Lang!! Siao lang!
Together with dearest Lili and B!!
Orientation day in 2009
Orientation Camp in 2008
My birthday cake!!
Happy birthday to me and Wei Jin(in advance).
To dearest Shi Ying: It's heart-wrenching to see you cry so many times cause we are leaving soon, but always remember that our spirits will always be with you! Jiayou okay!! We'll come and visit you more often de!! =)
To be able to be part of the Guitar Ensemble family 是一件最幸福的事!
Hellos! It's been quite some time since I last blogged.. It had been rather busy weeks.. SYF is just next monday!! Mid-year is just like 2 weeks later!! Yesterday, we had got 2 guests who came in.. One is our senior who graduated at 2007, Wesley, and the other one is non other than Mdm Fadillah.. They gave really constructive comments, telling us how to improve and stuffs.. But I realised that their comments are always more or less the same, which means that we did not took their comments into consideration.. After practice, which ended at around 6 plus, the seniors stayed in the guitar room to have a heart-to-heart talk.. As some of them could not take it any longer, the pressure and stress, they broke down.. But, we didn't came up with any good and effective solutions, therefore, we decided to have a talk with the whole ensemble tomorrow.. I felt that they didn't feel the seriousness of this SYF, which is super DUPER important to us! OMG!! Anyway, when home and studied for chemistry test and did not touched E-maths.. Realised that I don't get a single thing of chem and maybe I was too anxious? I broke down too.. It's just that there're really a lot of things zooming towards me at one go.. The SYF stress, busy guitar schedule, very close upcoming mid-year, tedious D&T coursework.. It's almost half of April is gone and I haven't start on my artefact! How am I going to finish? I'm so slow! 2 more weeks, the mid-year is arriving, I haven't started revising, how am I going to pass? 5 more days to SYF and there seem to be a lot of problem surfacing, RIGHT HERE @ THIS MOMENT, how are going to get a GOLD or even GOH? There're really too many things for me to worry about, for me to do and how I wish I can split into 3 people?! I want to start artefact soon, I want to excel in my studies, I want to get GOLD for SYF! This is because, I DON'T WANT TO BE LOOKED DOWN BY PEOPLE! I want to prove to them I or rather, THE GUITAR ENSEMBLE can do it!! We can step down in glory, We can create a history, just like the choir! Having a lot of mixed feelings, just like what Beatrice used to say last friday, so I apologised if I suddenly flared up at anyone or broke down in front of anyone(I hoped I won't!), I didn't mean it.
Do you understand the stress and pressure that I'm in?
Many things happened today.. Those that happened in class were rather unhappy things, I'm so sorry for saying that, but it's true! Some made me real mad and angry, up till now, I'm still not appeased! Confirmed our hoodies sizes and it wasn't so bad afterall.. Still deciding whether I should wear it cause it's rather small.. But it really looks like someone's jacket! Had lunchtime concert today.. Some timings were screwed up and the dynamics were not there! Such a waste! Saw Mdm Fadillah watching near my corner there, which was such a GOOD THING! WOO-HOO!! She said she ran down to see us perform once she heard it and I was so touched! She still has us in her heart!! Asked her how was it and she said that she liked Toccata and hoped that we can achieve a gold.. So good of her! Before going for lunch, Beatrice caught her again and went to have a chat with her.. Just can't get enough when it comes to talking with her! We told her about some of our views about things and seek some advices? It's really kind of her to lend us a listening ear though!! She gave us some advice and tips on our playing.. Uncle Lim arrived halfway through and we continued.. When she heard that we do not have any teachers to help us make-up, she volunteered very quickly!! This made me thought of something else! She said that she can call someone to help take over her lesson! SO SO SO GOOD OF HER!! How I wish she can follow us to Republic Poly on that day?! Starting to miss her lots as the SYF days are drawing near! My god!! Anyway, Uncle Lim lent me a brand new tuner today for SYF and had to return to him, but I think I'll be buying.. =) We were told that we could not have our intensive practice... It's like everyone is agreeable to it that means that we can cope well with everything, so I really don't understand some people way of thinking!! Just hope that everything will be fine and prove that sometimes, people can make the wrong judgement and then embarrassed themselves..
During guitar practise today, I suddenly realised something.. When the door opened during our playing halfway, I actually thought Miss Chin came in!! I actually thought of the time when both Ms Chin and Mdm Fadillah was still in Guitar Ensemble! That time was when I was in sec 1, 2 and half of 3.. Those times were wonderful! Especially the lower sec time, when both are the teacher in-charge! But I didn't cherished those moments! I let them passed just like that! How wasted! Now that SYF is drawing near, that type of feeling is even deeper and sometimes, it hurts, so much.. Now that there's a lunchtime concert on this Friday, how I wish that both of them would be around to listen to us play, watch our performance and see how we improved over the years, under Uncle Lim's guidance! But sadly, it clashes with their choir SYF... =( Furthermore, if we were to get a silver again this year, maybe things will change again! Now that with my super wonderful seniors not around, super funny teachers not around, everything changed! I don't like that! But what can I do? This is just purely fate! I can't do anything to change it, even though I had tried.. Quite a lot of things happened to day to make me realise what fate really is.. I missed the past and I really want to turn back the time!!I feel that I'm losing myself and I really want to break free... ...
Finally, I decided to upload this video.. It's so touching that I nearly cry while watching it just now.. So, I decided to share it with everyone. Hope you'll like it!! =)
Today is Good Friday!! Just finished watching a show called Air Bud: Spikes Back. This show never fails to remind me of Pipi!! I realised I missed her a lot! The time when we spent with each other! Anyway, I went to do this quiz found in Haishan's blog and the answers are mostly bingo! It says:
Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.
The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.
How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Yup, so that's about all, I think I should catch up with my work now!
Just received the news that 阿桑, once a H.I.M Music Company singer had just passed away yesterday morning! This is such shocking news to everyone! It was due to breast cancer, and she's only 34 this year! Read from the newspaper that S.H.E was very shocked to hear this news and Selina cried.. They said that they heard her saying about getting married soon, but in the end, she passed away! Her singing is so good, especially her voice, very unique.. It's such a pity that she died at such a young age... Guess this is just life, unexpected. Anyway, I'm too tired to post a long one, will upload the song and title soon!
Was practicing Chemistry just now and I realised that I'd actually forgot the whole lot of Acids, Bases and Salts!
Oh man, this is totally not a good sign at all..
Sis always used to say that it's an easy chapter, but I don't find it easy at all!!!!
There's still E-maths mock exam on wednesday...
Think I shall go practice maths first, then ask her about chem when she comes home..
Seriously need help!!!!
Anyway, received a call from Yuqi informing me that there'll be guitar practice tomorrow..
And there's chinese oral and night study..
Oh gosh!!
Can't watch the korean drama at 7pm...
=(
Have to report to school early on Tuesday for some performance, that means, I can't make it for breakfast at mac!!!
Aw man!
This is bad!!!!! >.<
Actually didn't really have the mood to study today cause dad's at home ALL DAY!! Which is a torture! I can't get things done when he's at home!
It makes me feels, rather uneasy..
I had actually come up with a plan to complete a certain amount of work today but when I heard the opening of door at 11am, the whole enthusiasm was gone!
Now, he's sleeping in the study room, taking up all my space with his things, and I was "forced" to study at the dining table, with all of sis's notes and stuffs!!!
The amount of space is limited, but it's certainly better than sharing a room with him!! Alrights, it's time I get back to work!!!
I'm dying of frustration, vexation, confusion and tiredness..
Just came back from night study today and told mum that there'll be night study for chinese fon monday..
She immediately flared up, saying that, why the school so hardworking?
It's not like as if you all will score very well!
Why don't want to study in the afternoon??
Afternoon got cca and stuffs, what does she expect?
Then asked me why I was in school the whole day today..
As usual, there's CCA..
Then she gave me a ridiculous explanation, tell your teacher today got night study then don't go for CCA..
HELLO! Everybody is also like that, what means you so SPECIAL?!
Furthermore, SYF is just round the corner!
Yesterday I also got scolded for nothing..
When the clock ticked 10pm, she immediately asked me to go to bed..
Just because I was chatting with my sis and she screamed, "Quickly go to bed! Your heart is not even at studying, what for study?!"
That sentence really broke my heart!
Obviously she didn't think before she speaks!
Sometimes, I study till late in the night, she also didn't see..
Even if she sees, she'll also say, don't do already, no point rushing in the night... ...
It's like, she don't understand, it's just that there're tons of works to be done!
And, I must say, she's getting really really RIDICULOUS!! I feel that there's no point helping her find her songs, and transferring them to her phone or mp3..
She doesn't appreciate it at all!!
To make things worse, my dad changed the internet without seeking my opinion!
He just download whatever he likes, not considering whether it causes inconvenience to others..
I'm getting real pissed off by these two irritating adults!
Another thing is that there're lots of program tmr!
I understand that sec 4 is suppose to be busy but isn't Saturday a CCA before stepping down?
I don't get it, you know?
Lots of teachers want to arrange their lessons in the morning..
Hmm, there's suppose to be chem lesson tmr, from 9.30-11.30am..
But but, I've got 'rehearsal' at the hall tmr and we had it scheduled long time ago..
If it's at normal classroom, I can skip, but at hall, is like, we're going to test out the sound and movements..
Furthermore, I had skipped quite a lot of saturday practise because of lesson, I'm afraid that the conductor will be displease cause tmr looks important!
Furthermore, he keeps hoping to have full attendance on saturday practise..
How?
The whole class is like only me not attending chemistry lesson!
I'm afraid that I have to meet her one-to-one..
It's scary you know, she talk so fast, explain so fast and yet, I'm quite a slow learner..
Habe_Choo Jiayi
17
3 February 1993
Aquarius
Single
jiayi22@hotmail.com
Nanyang Polytechnic after Dunman Secondary after East Spring Primary
1E'06 2D'07 3E'08 4E'09
Guitar Ensemble[chords]
~Likes~
People who are talented, humble and friendly!
~Hates!~
People who're bias, who copies, who acts, backstabbers, arrogant
IDOLS!!
Actors/Actress:Jeanette Aw(S'pore),Rui En(S'pore),Elvin Ng(S'pore),Linda Chung(Hong Kong),Kate Tsui(Hong Kong),Fala Chen(Hong Kong)
Singers:S.H.E,Elva Hsiao,Tank,Wang Lee Hom,Wang Fei,Tanya Chua,BoA,Avril Lavigne
MY BELOVES~
-All my S.H.E stuffs(Albums, Dramas, DVDs, Posters, Magazines, Poker Cards & Jigsaw puzzle etc..)
-My iPhone4
-My Guitar
-My PSP
-My Laptop
-My ZEN
MY WISH
Learning all their dance steps
Hoping to be able to play their songs using a piano
BE ABLE TO SEE S.H.E AGAIN!
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25th April: 2009 SYF Participants
Orientation Camp in 2008
I feel that I'm losing myself and I really want to break free... ...
