Thursday, 22nd October 2009
There're so many things which happen in which I want to talk about, but I doesn't have the time.
Thus, I said those real important ones..
Firstly, yesterday mum told me a horrifying news.
While I was outside,
She told me that dad was inside my room when no one was at home..
Then when she and sis came back, he quickly walked out of our room, leaving our cupboard door opened.
Then I realised that sis's piggy was placed quite outside and so I realised what he was doing.
How horrified I was!
He actually did something so despicable!
Can you believe it?
How can a father bear to "steal" his own daughter's money??
That's totally, DISAPPOINTING!
Then I realised that he was also blacklisted in his own brothers and sisters list..
This time round, I think he doesn't deserve my pity.
It's not that I want to hate him, but he doesn't CHANGE!!
How irritating!!
Now, I'm super afraid to be alone with him and worried that he's alone at home..
Oh my god, 真没想到我会沦落到这样的下场！
Secondly, I finally realised what's the true meaning of 误会, misunderstanding..
The detrimental effects that it can bring with it..
据有人说：误会是很痛苦的，尤其是被误会的人.
说的还真对耶!
所以吗， 各位， 请听我一句劝告：不要一直有[别人很了解你]的想法，因为你永远不知道他们在想些什么.
I said this not to reprimand anyone, please don't get it wrong, all I want to do is to point out some of my views, yea?
So, don't misunderstand my 好意.
It's true you know, you may be thinking this way but others may be thinking another way..
So, it's better to clarify or ask you know..
I know it may be a bit embarrassing, but it's really no harm asking..
Haha..
Thirdly, these few days, whenever I'm alone, I had been thinking, ‘别人会不会觉得我很烦， 不喜欢我etc..?'
I know it's lame but that's how I do my self reflection..
Lol..
Seriously, maybe because I can't accept some people's attitude or behaviour or whatever, that's why I'm having these thoughts..
Furthermore, these can help me become a better person.
Of course it's true that people like who you are, but if people don't like who you are, even if there's a minority, will you do some self reflect and change?
I must say that I'm not a wonderful person, in fact I feel like a failure most of the time, but I always remember what mum used to tell me, "妹啊， 你要改掉你的坏习惯， 不让很多人都会不想跟你做朋友， 知道吗？"
I don't believe this at first, till recently..
So, can anyone tell me am I counted as an acceptable friend in your heart?
I welcome all answer as I believed that if you answer truthfully, then that will be the best answer..
Last but not least, I just want to end it off by saying that all these while, the happiest time that I had spent will be the beginning of the year..
It may sound unbelievable, but it's true, really..
Recently, the scenes spent at Sentosa kept flashing through my head, those wonderful moments, when the 4 of us were still good friends.
我知道若要回到以往那种友情是一件不可能的事，因为我相信这一切是我一手破坏的，但我还是希望你们都找到了你们真心的好朋友。
But if you wish to complain about your life to me, I'm more willing to be your listening ear!
=)
So everyone, jiayou for your "O" levels!!
What would you do if someday, there's someone who told you that the new you is not well like by other?
What would you do if you realised that you had become a "hot-topic"?
What would you do if you were misunderstood by the rest?
What would you do if one day, you were busy apologizing to someone and the next, you hurt someone?
Yea, what should I do?
Yesterday, was busying apologizing to someone whom was hurt by my words.
And today, I hurt someone.
Just what is wrong with me uh?
Yann Ting, you can just call me a loser next time luh!
I thought I could be the peacemaker, but it's more hard than I thought and I failed terribly.
I've never wish to hurt others, but it seems like I'm always doing it.
I'm always misunderstood by people, maybe it's because of my actions, but I always tried to clear it up.
Was glad that someone was willing to help me clear it up last year.
But who's going to help me this time round?
I guess no one is wiling to luh.
Maybe to many, I'm already considered an evil person, to be precised, a betrayal, I know.
I've no idea what I should do now, I'd lost my direction.
If you let me meet a T-junction, I guess I would just stop at the centre.
For now, I shall just stay neutral and befriend everyone.
That's all that I can do and hope for, for now.
I know it's useless for me to say anything now cause I guess I'm already blacklisted.
If hating me will make you feel better, just go ahead.
But I didn't betray you.
I'm a retard, always slow at everything, and I guess that's the reason why I always hurt people.
I guess my self reflection came too late.
But those times we spent together will be remembered and even though I can no longer be your best friend, you'll still be a friend of mine.
Once a friend, always a friend.
Thanks for everything.
Take care and all the best for your 'O's.
This song somehow describe my feelings now.
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let ?em out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though
Goin' on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do
It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And havin' so much to say
(Much to say)
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do, oh
Oh yeah
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
(To say)
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do
Not seein' that lovin' you
That's what I was trying to do, ooo
How I wish I was the girl!!
loneliness...
